What Do You Say to the Woman at the Well?

If you know the difference between a game of catch and a game of dodgeball, you’ve got a great metaphor for evangelism: namely, the good news should come to people, not at them. People (and not just Jewish people) often dodge the gospel unless or until they are prepared to receive it. That is why we should continually ask God to prepare people’s hearts. But we also can help prepare people through what is sometimes referred to as “pre-evangelism.”

Jesus Himself demonstrated the balance between preparing people to hear His message and actually proclaiming it. His famous conversation with the woman at the well, recorded in John 4, is a great example. The following is just a thumbnail sketch of what this narrative can teach us about sharing our faith.

Read the text: “A woman from Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, ‘Give me a drink’” (John 4:7).

Jesus begins by asking the woman to do something for Him, and through this request, He is offering the woman an opportunity to interact. He is quite aware that this will surprise her, and the next verse reveals why.

Apply it: Think through what those you encounter might have to offer and how asking something of them could pique their curiosity or challenge their preconceptions of how you see them.

Ask God: Is there anything you want me to know about my approach to sharing the gospel with particular people You have put in my life? Please help me to know if I have preconceptions about them that might get in the way of a gospel conversation.

Read the text: “The Samaritan woman said to him, ‘How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria?’ (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans)”* (John 4:9).

The woman pulls no punches in pointing out that people like Jesus normally want nothing to do with people like her. Had Jesus begun the conversation with a spiritual declaration, this woman probably would have been predisposed to dodge His message. Why would she care to listen to someone who has a low opinion of her?

Apply it: People often assume that those who identify with Jesus hold those who do not in low regard. Many Christians share the gospel with humble and grateful hearts, but sadly, others have lacked grace, sensitivity, and respect for those who don’t know Jesus. Social media often amplifies these un-Christlike attitudes, so we should not be surprised when people are wary.

Ask God: Is there anything about me that might cause unbelievers to think I have a low view of them? Please help me to see the people You bring into my life as objects of Your great love and mercy.

Read the text: “Jesus answered her, ‘If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, “Give me a drink,” you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water’” (John 4:10).

Jesus does not dispute the woman’s blunt remark, nor does He try to explain it away. Instead, He changes the focal point of the conversation by dropping an intriguing thought: There is more to Him than this woman supposes. In fact, if she would just see Him for who He is, she could request the amazing gift that only He can give.

Apply it: We don’t need to be defensive or argumentative about other people’s assumptions. Just as Jesus made Himself the focal point of the conversation, we want to encourage people to wonder, Who is this Jesus? and What does He actually have to offer?

Ask God: How do I avoid becoming defensive or argumentative if people I witness to accuse me of being unloving? Teach me to know when to engage humbly with that accusation, and when to change the subject to help people wonder about what Jesus offers.

Where do you get that living water?

Read the text: “The woman said to him, ‘Sir, you have nothing to draw with, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob?’” (John 4:11–12).

Jesus is using physical elements to help the woman begin thinking about spiritual things. At first, she focuses on literal details of how Jesus can procure living water, but in so doing, she also begins to wonder about His identity.

Apply it: Many physical necessities such as food, water, or shelter can become pointers to deeper needs and how God wants to meet them. The smallest suggestion of a connection between the physical and the spiritual (as with the term “living water”) without a lengthy explanation can give others room to ponder and ask questions.

Ask God: Give me eyes to see and ears to hear how everyday things point to You. As I go through my day, bring to mind various people who don’t know You, and what parts of my daily experience might be a way to connect with them about spiritual things.

The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.

Read the text: Jesus says, “Whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life” (John 4:14).

At this point, Jesus is addressing the woman’s question of His greatness. He is still preparing her to receive His message, but He is now pronouncing the nature of living water and proclaiming His own identity as the Giver of eternal life.

Apply it: When unbelievers begin to ask real questions, they are opening the door for us to deliver our message to them. We can begin to talk about who Jesus is in ways that speak to their interest, allowing their questions and comments to open doors to deeper conversations.

Ask God: Please help (fill in the name of someone who needs to know Jesus) to ask the kind of questions that You want to answer, and prepare me to answer wisely.

Read the text: “The woman said to him, ‘Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water.’ Jesus said to her, ‘Go, call your husband, and come here’” (John 4:15–16).

The woman now asks Jesus to prove Himself by providing what He has offered. But her interest is merely to save herself the trouble of returning to the well. Jesus asks a question that begins to bring her story and her deeper needs into the picture.

In our encounters: It’s not unusual for people’s first steps toward Jesus to be motivated by a desire for Him to make their lives better or easier, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Our interest in their story, and their willingness to share it, is important. It can help them take a deeper, more personal look at the gospel and give us opportunities to speak of Jesus’ mission to reconcile us to God.

In conclusion: Verses 17 and following unfold Jesus’ supernatural knowledge of this woman’s life and moral failings. When she changes the subject to the issue of where people ought to worship (a point of conflict between Jews and Samaritans), Jesus takes the opportunity to talk about what God really cares about when it comes to worship. When the woman declares her belief that the Messiah is coming, and that He will explain it all, Jesus announces, “I who speak to you am He” (John 4:26).

As the woman goes off to tell others about Jesus, she seems excited that He knew all about her—even though the things He knew came down to her brokenness and moral failings. Why would that be a positive experience for her? Because it was within the context of knowing her that Jesus showed kindness and offered her the gift of everlasting life.

Though we don’t know the people we encounter like Jesus does, we can pray for discernment as we encourage people to tell us their story. We can ask questions to help people tell their story, and we can be vulnerable about sharing our own story. Sometimes, we build trust in a first encounter, and sometimes, it happens over time. Either way, as we are sensitive to God’s leading, our approach can help others see that God knows and loves them, and that He is inviting them to enter into His redemptive story.

*The Samaritans were descended from Jewish people who had intermarried with Assyrians after the fall of the Northern Kingdom of Israel. Jewish people of Jesus’ day scrupulously avoided them. Also, religious Jewish men had to avoid certain kinds of contact with women in order to remain ceremonially clean.